Charlie

Our happy little bunny, Charlie, left us this morning to join Jessie, Patience, Winnie and Lady in the heaven where animals go. The trees are always green and the weather mild with soft clouds, golden sun and soft rain showers to make the tender lettuce leaves grow. Peeled banana bits hang from trees, ripe and ready for a little nibble and hay grows fresh every morning, blowing sweet and fragrant in a soft breeze. Friendly hawks, as well as all manner of feline and canine companions provide companionship and romp or swoop over the peaceful place where all bunnies are free and happy and well.

An Olympian Winter

As of March 1, winter is over in my world. Snow covers most of the ground and the last two nights saw temperatures in the 20's but it is still spring for me. The first spring bulbs- tiny white snow crocuses- have appeared. The cardinals and chickadees are singing in the dark early morning and yesterday there was a pair of Canadian geese trying out nesting areas by the river.
We have had a cold snowy winter and spent much of it- evenings at least- hunkered down in our snug little house. Ohio saw near- record snowfall in February. I imagine it will be weeks before the mountains of now gray snow will melt away, piled from shoveled driveways and parking lots. We definitely had record ice cycles hanging from the house. Before I knocked them down last weekend, a few went from roof to the ground. They were beautiful when caught in the rare moments of bright sun, sparkling like crystal, clear and blue.
Jim and I always enjoy the Olympics and the 2010 Vancouver Games were no exception. During the day I looked forward to the evening when our work was done, knowing plans for pizza and a few hours of skiing, skating or skateboarding were in store. Oliver, our tuxedo'd gentleman cat, also anticipated these evenings atop a warm TV.

Visitors

Last night there were two visitors at our home. One was invited and one was not. One was a known member of the family and the other was a stranger. I was aware of the first being there in the night, but the other crept stealthily under cover of darkness to rob me if there was something worth taking and I was unaware of his presence until the morning.
Kayden was over for another big night of fun. He had Sesame Street Ernie pasta for dinner, a new addition to his toddler diet that I forked into his baby bird open mouth. We had our usual fun, including our version of Olympics 2010. We have prayer flags hanging in our living room- 6 in all- bright blue, pink, orange, green yellow and red. Kayden loves to be launched up to a height where he can touch each flag as I call out the color. He laughs and I laugh and my arms get a workout and he is learning colors. It gets a gold medal every time. When Kayden's mom and dad picked him up this morning, there was ample evidence of his visit all around the house.
My other visitor probably had dinner too, put out for birds and squirrels to help them eat while the ground is covered with snow. He also may have performed Olympian feats attempting to access the dinner. However this guest, leaving only the smallest evidence that he has visited, slipped quietly away in the night.

Home

No one will ever accuse me of having a home that looks like a magazine, with throw pillows artfully arranged, gleaming hardwood floors, and everything in its place. We will never need an alarm system to protect our valuables because our valuables all wear fur coats or are pieces of art made mostly by our kids- neither exactly hot items to pawn.
And yet, all of this surrounding me daily is precious and priceless. I can't imagine sitting on the couch without at least 2 animals on my lap or beside me; it just wouldn't be home. I wondered this morning as I filled bowls with fresh water and cat food, handed out treats to the dogs as they came in from the cold, and cut banana pieces for the rabbits, how it would feel to get up in the morning and have no one to take care of but Jim and me. It was like trying to imagine walking with one leg- out of balance and missing something necessary. I smile when I look at our "dining room" because only the rabbits actually dine there. Charlie and Stuarts' pen sits below the bay window and Jeffrey and Nutmegs' is opposite. There is generally some hay on the floor, if not from our dropping a piece when we fill their pans twice a day, then from the cats who pull it from the pens and eat it or bat it around.
In addition to its occupants, this home surrounds me with warmth and comfort. Like an old friend, I trust these walls to anchor and support me and to provide a place where I know I will always be welcome. I love our flower gardens in the warm months, and my mind's eye sees the bright colors in the summer sun even as I look upon our snow shrouded yard. Even now, as the furnace hums its soothing sound, I look forward to the breezes of April blowing through windows opened wide. Now we enjoy the flickering light of candles in the still dark February evenings and eat dinner by the fireplace, but soon the fireflies will replace the candles and we'll spend time late in the day outside on the porch swing at sunset. And in between, we will continue to go out and live our work day lives in other places with other people, knowing that, if we are so blessed, we will return home again to our beloved cottage on Sheffield Road.

Good times with my buddy

Kayden and Gramma had another sleepover last Saturday night. Kayden is a great dancer, so first I put A Charlie Brown Christmas CD on and we did some head bobbing and turning in circles to some of those songs. But next I went for some tunes with a stronger beat and selected Louisiana Gumbo. When he first heard it, this look of "Wohhhh!!" came over his face and he really cut a rug, which, of course, had me laughing and snapping pictures.

His walking and balance skills have improved immensely. He can squat and pick something off of the floor without holding on and is becoming faster crossing the room. When he arrived he had on these cute little Michael Jordan shoes that made a little thunk thunk thunk noise when he walked- still flat footed. His language perception is growing too. He can point to a nose (his, yours, a dog's in his picture book) and eyes and ears. He says "hi!" and ""uh" for up (as in pick me up). Mostly, however, his word of choice is "doh" ~ Homer Simpson style. "Doh" is used in a variety of situations: when accompanied by a pointing finger, it means "Let's talk about this item I'm pointing at". When he is eating, it means he wants more. Heidi is afraid he is going to pass right by the "mamma" and "dadda" stage of speech and go straight to "Mom", as he seems to prefer single syllables.

As it always does, our evening ended with his bath and rocking him to sleep- the latter not being a popular decision at first, as Kayden apparently thought there was still play time left. He did eventually go to sleep, his silky curly hair brushing my face.

When you only have 100 years to live

I've never understood why people- usually women- refuse to tell their age. Yesterday was my fifty first birthday and I have known women who would have given anything to say that but didn't get the chance. Shari, a patient I grew to know and care about, lost her life to cancer last week. I don't recall her age but she was younger than me. She and I sat together about a month ago and she cried because she knew her cancer treatment wasn't working. Even so, she couldn't bear to stop driving to the hospital and spending time she didn't have receiving chemotherapy because she simply wanted to live. Even as I tried to suggest hospice care for her, knowing the chemo was not only futile but was also making her feel worse, I respected her decision to go on. "I can't give up" she said.

I think of the actual people who are the "Five killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq" or one of the thousands just lost in Haiti. Just like that, and your time here is over.

Today I celebrate the first day on my way to 52. Each morning I see the sun rise is a gift that I will never take for granted even if I live to be 100.

Keep the Cheer Going

It's a rainy Sunday at home. Jim is lying on the couch watching the pregame for the Jets vs Chargers. As I tap away on the key board, Nell naps on my lap and Mistie snores softly beside me. Mollie would like to go outside- again- but we are limiting her time in the yard today because she comes in all muddy.

I'm remembering the Christmas just passed, a wonderful time spent with those we love. Inside and out, Christmas lights brightened the dark of winter. This year our street had more holiday lights than I ever remember here and I smiled every evening as I drove home, cheered by all the little sparkly bulbs. Not only did they display more lights, but people also seemed to leave them up later than in the past, keeping Christmas cheer as the long month of January began. Thinking about this, I wonder if, after the difficult year, we all yearned for sources of happiness. It certainly was so with me. As a matter of fact, we have decided to keep a little Christmas tree on our mantel. The lights warm my heart.