I thought about titling this post "What Mother's Day Means To Me" just I like I would have done when writing a paper back in elementary school. I guess this blog really is about are my memories of motherhood, stretching back 28 years now- back in "the day" before paper diapers had gathers around the legs and babies could poop right out of the gap without getting a spot on the diaper....and there you have one of my memories. (Easter 1982, cute new baby Easter outfit worn for 15 minutes) As a mom, I experienced all the highs and lows that come with raising healthy kids. I love(d) being a mom and always thought I'd be very good at it. Throughout the years there were many times when I asked myself what I had been smoking when I thought such a thing- in reality I was a terrible mother. Sometimes I wondered where the mothering I had done went during some teen years when I didn't think I knew my kids anymore. As I said, all the highs and lows.
Here are a few of the many moments that stick with me: The time I was scolding Peter when he was about 6 for some transgression. I was face to face and, while correcting him, noticed he was actually paying attention to me. "Finally", I thought, "I'm getting through to him!" I finished my lecture and waited to see what he had to say for himself. He said "Mom, did you know that if you look really close at a person's face it looks like they only have one eye?"
We has put our house on the market and had purchased cream colored area rugs so it would show well. The kids were in early grade school. I was upstairs when Peter's voice came ringing out "Oh, no Heidi, that's gonna STAIN". (Yes, it did- a whole glass of grape juice.)
My memories of Heidi aren't so verbal. Like yesterday I can feel her little pink corduroy overalls as I hug her, and see the times I spent putting on her stage makeup for one of her dance performances. I will never forget the sight of her bedroom in her teen years (omg!!) or the fun we had sitting in the parking lot behind a bakery we considered to do her wedding cake, eating the samples of white, chocolate and red velvet they sent with us.
The photo above is of, from left, Peter, Autumn (his bride-to-be in 23 days!), Heidi, her husband Ashley, Kayden, and Aaron, Ashley's 13 year old brother. I love each of these wonderful people and am deeply grateful to each of them for bringing their special personalities into my life.
I think often of Tammy, Ashley and Aarons' mom, who died suddenly and tragically 2 years ago. I hadn't yet got to know her very well, but we both were so excited for the little grandchild we were expecting together. She is especially in my heart on the nights when I rock her little grandson to sleep and think how she would have loved this baby and how proud she would be of her son as a husband, father and brother. "Ashley is a stand up guy" were her words the last time I saw her and I am finding how right she was.
And it wouldn't be mother's day for me without thanking my own mom and Jim's mom, who has her wings, for all their love and sacrifice.
And last, thank you to my furry children who keep me young and give me reasons to laugh every day!
